Submitted & voted for by our Community,
Dog Watch 🕵️

There might be a tiny hooman trapped inside your  dog.

Get suspicious 🕵️.

Top Suspect of the Month:

Age: 6

Charges: Crimes against Pool Noodles

It’s been a hot one this month… so Max has had to resort to extraordinary measures to find a solution.

We’re not quite sure what to call this position, but it’s somehow the perfect mix of bottom-half cooling and top-half sunbathing.

Its a big brain solution from someone who took 18 months to learn his own name.

Reported by his pawrents for a suspiciously advanced cooling strategy

How do you find him?

A tribute to the dramatic sighers, the furniture tyrants, the bath-time revenge plotters, and the passive-aggressive side-eyers who make our lives so beautifully chaotic.

May 26

Jaxson

If Carlsberg did Suspicious..

Age: 4

Charges: Sausage Optimism

2 years ago, Jaxson got lucky. Out on his evening walk, mid-sniff… he struck gold.

HALF a pack of Tesco’s Finest Cumberland sausages. Right in this exact bush.

Gone before mum knew what'd hit her.

He hasn’t forgotten. Every walk, he insists on the detour straight back to the scene. 

Nothing since. But that doesn't stop him checking... Maybe tomorrow Jaxson

Reported by his pawrents for a suspiciously good long-term memory. 

Voters found him..

If Carlsberg did suspicious..

April 26

Age: 2

Charges: Selective Hearing

Mabel is medically deaf. Her owners know this because they've tried EVERYTHING to teach her the basic commands.

"Sit" - *blinks awkwardly*.

"Come" - *not even a side eye of acknowledgment*

"Leave it" - *like you don't even exist*

What’s weird is apparently she's learnt to feel the... vibrations.... in the air instead?

Like, the exact moment the fridge door opens, she's there. Or even a crisp packet rustles from across the house... in she scurries.

Her owners can’t explain it. It’s.. a miracle?

Voters found her..

March 26

Age: 7

Charges: Nosey Neighbour

Like most dogs, Frankie enjoys a spot of people watching.

The weird part? He REFUSES to take an interest unless the blinds are down??

Something about peeking through the slats—like your nan trying to catch a glimpse of the neighborhood drama—really gets him going.

He's giving nosey neighbor and it's seriously SUS

Voters found him..

FEBRUARY 26

Age: 4

Charges: Not even trying to hide it

Rosie's favourite thing in the whole entire world is.. football.

Yep, you heard that right. She can kick and dribble with all 4 feet (and her snoot), and she'll pass the ball better than most of your Exes. She's not even trying to hide her inner hooman..

Swipe for the video evidence (it's damning).

Voters found her..

JANUARY 26

Age: 2.5

Charges: BUSTED in the act

Pawrents came home early, thought they'd surprise him. Clearly they weren't expected..

Harvey was caught sat *upright* on the couch, watching telly, with a bloody brew beside him.

I wish i was joking.

Voters found him..

DECEMBER 25

Age: 6 

Charges: Sleeping Beauty

Jess sleeps like someone unplugged her, and when she wakes? It's like watching someone get factory reset in real time. Brain offline, face buffering. Like she's trying to load but got stuck at 34%

She wakes up with serious Monday Morning Energy.... and HOW does a dog know what a Monday morning is???

Voters found her..

NoVEMBER 25

Age: 8  

Charges: We're not Egg-actly sure 

Ludo doesn't have 'a  thing',  Ludo has a word.

"Eggs."

Whisper it seductively and he'll pull this face. Trouble is - is he smiling, or raging?? His fam have NO IDEA.

Have they ever fed him eggs? No. Has he ever SEEN an egg? Unclear. 

So what's with the beef? NOBODY KNOWS

 

Voters found him..